Transform Your Life with Genna Thomsen
Mental Health Resources and App's
988 – National Mental Health Hotline – Talk or Text 24/7
National Alliance on Mental Illness – NAMI www.mani.org/Home
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/988
Crisis Hotlines: Common Hotline Phone Numbers | Eluna Network
Mental Health App’s
Talkspace – Best Overall Therapy App
Calm – Best Mindfulness App
My3 – Three People / Three Distractions / Safety Plan App
Chopra App – Great mindfulness and free meditations
Pride Counseling – Best Queer Mental Health App
Youper – Best Self-Guided Therapy App
Headspace – Best Anxiety App
Transition
“November is a time of transition, of slowing down, of turning inward.”
– Elizabeth J. Kolodziej
TRANSITION
“Not everything that comes back to you is meant for you.
Sometimes things come back as a reminder of just how good you are without them”
- Billy Chapata
As we watch mother nature transition from summer to fall it makes me reflect on internal transitions. If you live in Utah, it can be cold and chilly in the morning prompting seat warmers, jackets and heaters. Late afternoon can have you with windows down and the A/C back on. We can make many transitions to our external environment in the span of a short amount of time.
What about inside of you? Can you transition from anger to mild irritation quickly? Do you move from strong emotions of desire to faint interest in a flash of an eye? It seems to me when it comes to emotions we are not as fluid as we are with external things like adjusting the temperature of our surrounding. I have often read the quote on how the trees are showing us how easy it is to let go when they lose their leaves. What about the brilliant show of color before they let go? Are we our brightest and most vibrant before we release something we have held onto? Do you let go with ease or does the process of letting go feel difficult to you?
I love the lessons in nature. Take a deep breath. Then take another. What is something you want that isn’t currently happening or showing up in your life? What could you let go of in your mind or heart to allow it to come to you? To take an action what steps are needed for you to transition from where you are now to where you want to be?
I am committed to peace in my life. I had some frustrations bubbling up inside me towards a family member, they were festering, and I wanted to let them go. I also felt ‘justified’ in my anger. I felt right about the things the other person did that I felt were wrong. I am committed to peaceful living, to choosing happiness over being right and asking myself what would love do?
Well, in my head peace and love and trying not to be right swear a lot! So, I often need to take a step back, breathe deeply and regroup BEFORE I speak or act. Sometimes easier said than done. In this case I needed to get these thoughts and feelings from the inside of me to the outside. On the last full moon, I wrote a note in pencil (lead is connected to the earth) expressing everything that was inside of me. It didn’t feel productive to have this conversation with the person I felt was wrong. In some situations, you can. In this case I knew it would go in circles causing more upset. I went outside after dark and burned the letter in a jar. Letting all of it go. Now when my mind wants to jump back into the upset, I remind it we burned it!
Sometimes we need an action to help transition things from the inside of us to the outside. It’s good to know that we don’t have to hold onto upset, that things that hurt us in the past do not need to keep hurting us now. We don’t have to let old pains back in or let people (even family) be in our lives if their choices cause us harm or pain. Good clear boundaries are needed even if they feel hard in the beginning. If peace is your goal, then stand your ground and choose that for yourself in all areas of your life.
Little things like cleaning your freezer or a kitchen drawer while saying, “I am getting rid of the old making room for the new” can help move energy and help get us from one place to the next.
The upcoming holidays can be tiring and hard on a weary or grieving heart. Be gentle with you. Say no if you don’t want to do something. No means no for any reason without explanation, remember that its ok to not be ok. It’s alright to feel raw and exposed. It’s acceptable to let things be uncomfortable while you are learning a new normal without the person you lost.
I invite you to ask yourself the question, “How do I want to include ______ (whoever has passed) in these holidays?” Then do that! Some people set a place for them at the dinner table. Some share stories, write letters to be read in private. Some do coat or sock drives in their loved one’s name. You do what feels best for you. Honor your love for them through your loss.
Self-Care Tip:
“Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.”
-Alice Mackenzie Swaim
BOUNDARIES – www.helpguide.org
“Time boundaries allow you to focus on your priorities at work and in your personal life without feeling crowded by other people’s needs and wants. Imagine that you’ve had a stressful work week and want to spend the weekend recuperating. You might decline a party invite or set a limit on how long you’ll be there. Other time-related restrictions could include asking a friend to avoid calling you during work hours or asking a partner to delay an important conversation until a more convenient time.
Shifting boundaries
Boundaries aren’t etched in stone. You’ll need to adjust them as circumstances change and relationships grow. This can be especially true in long-term relationships. Communication is important as you reevaluate and revise your boundaries. You want the other person to be clear on the change and the reason behind it."
Take care of you. Say yes when you want to and remember that no is a complete sentence!
All my best,
Genna
Emotion - Making or breaking you?
“Meet me in the middle of your story when the soul is worn but wise.”
-Angie Weilland-Crosby
Emotions are such powerful things in our lives. At times they feel like they are making or breaking us. I love the concept of emotional intelligence. As I am not raising children anymore and do not have the highs and lows of that experience, I am leaning more and more into how my emotions impact me, my mood, and interactions with others. I find myself asking more questions in my head and heart on why certain things are bothering me. I am in a new time of discovery of things I find pleasing. It’s a wonderful space to be in. I invite you to join creating your own journey of emotional balance in life!
Deepak Chopra has some thoughts and tips on Emotional Intelligence that are so powerful, read below.
“The key is to cultivate emotional intelligence. The term might go in and out of fashion, but the value of emotional intelligence never changes, and when you focus on it, you will achieve something worthwhile for life. Here are six principles to guide you through the process.
Commit to never complaining, criticizing, or playing the victim.
Imagine a creative, positive future for yourself.
Don’t regret the past. It no longer exists.
Be present in every situation as it occurs.
Be independent of other people’s criticism or approval.
Be responsive to feedback.
It is fair to say that hardly anyone hits upon these principles by trial and error or through experience of life. A person can live a long time without paying attention to emotional intelligence, and among men, the word “emotion” too often connotes something undesirable, as if showing emotional sensitivity is a sign of weakness.
But emotional intelligence is gender neutral. The fact that humans can observe their emotions is a remarkable trait, and once you begin to observe your own emotions, you can counter the power of an unwanted emotion like fear and anxiety. Whether we admit it or not, emotions fascinate us, as Hollywood well knows. Empathizing with emotions onscreen is easy and pleasurable, but we are too attached to our own emotions, and it takes very little experience of anxiety, humiliation, rejection, and failure to train us to avoid the mine field of emotions in general.
So, it’s worth saying that developing emotional intelligence isn’t scary or difficult. All you need to do is notice and pay attention. By pausing and standing back a little, you can observe how you are reacting at any given moment.”
May you find new and ever improved ways of feeling and sharing what you feel with those you trust the most!
"Calmness is the cradle of power"
-Josiah Gilbert Holland
All my best!
Genna
Peace as a pathway
“Peace is not something you wish for. It is something you make, something you are, something you do, and something you give away.”
- Robert Fulghum
In life there are so many things coming at us that require our time, energy, attention and focus. We have our primary relationships with a spouse, children, their spouses if you have adult children. Then if you are caregiving there is the time and effort mental, emotional, physical and often financial of taking care of an aging parent or grandparent. This comes with a new and different set of challenges, gifts and navigational things to make your way through. Add extended family, work, clients, friends, community events, religious gatherings, politics to think about and spend energy on and it’s no wonder we get so overloaded.
Stress is a real issue when it continues day after day unmanaged. It can lead to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and even personality disorders. Chronic stress can lead people into unhealthy habits of overindulging in food, alcohol or other substance best left to moderation. I typed stress into google as you know there are always those drop downs with helpful tips. One of them had the title, “How to Relieve Stress Quickly” this is what it said.
1. Get active. Almost any form of physical activity can act as a stress reliever. (I love a walk)
2. Eat a healthy diet (Dark chocolate & bacon are healthy right?)
3. Avoid Unhealthy habits (Well really…. So, overindulgence is out I guess...)
4. Meditate (I have the Deepak Chopra app and do one of the guided ones per day… when I take an Epsom salt bath, I do a 29-minute Chakra singing bowls one that is on You Tube, it’s amazing!)
5. Laugh more! (YES, do this! My husband follows cat videos and is always laughing.)
6. Connect with others (Together is my favorite place to be!)
7. Assert yourself (Love this, might make you introvert a little twitchy. You can tell someone off in your mind or in a letter. I wrote a couple letters the last full moon and burnt them in a jar in my back yard! It is cleansing and stress relieving!)
8. Try yoga. (Good tip, I love how deep I breath when I do yoga, that might be the most relaxing part as I have fallen on my head trying some of the poses. That sparked some deep laughter in me, not so much in others who felt way more serious about the yoga poses than I did apparently!)
To find or create a pathway to peace in your life you want to find little things you can do every day to help keep you in balance. We often think we need some large measures; a long retreat or vacation get away to reset us. If we take ten to fifteen minutes everyday to devote to peace in our minds and bodies, we will feel a huge shift from the inside out.
Make time to be still in your life. We have so much going on around us. We have so much technology connecting us to everything and everyone. TURN IT ALL OFF. Take a few deep breaths. Find that place inside you where stillness exists. Breathe a few more times into that scared space where you are centered and balanced at all times in all places no matter the chaos that surrounds you. Do this in the early morning light with your feet on the earth if you can, it is so powerful to connect to the earth through your feet. Breathe in the energy of the planet. Let the strength on the sun calm you and warm you. If you can’t be outside to do this, you can create this in your mind. Visualize yourself at the beach, in the mountains, beside your favorite lake or stream. Be where you feel alive and at home. Breathe peace into your mind and heart from this place.
I promise if you make time for this daily you will walk a new pathway with renewed calmness. You can face each day, any new challenge with the question in your heart, “what would love do or what would peace do?” then act from that place. Who knows, it may look and feel a lot different than it used too!
Self-Care Tip:
Quiet Your Mind!
Make time each day for purposeful quieting of the mind. Take 5-10 minutes. Turn off the screen, the radio in the car, the TV. Sit with your feet touching the earth while taking slow deep breaths. Focus on the breath coming into and then leaving your body. Feel the stillness start to wrap around you.
"Calmness is the cradle of power"
-Josiah Gilbert Holland
All my best,
Genna
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